Finding Her Voice

Boveja found success in managing her health through self-care. But when it came to asking for help with circumstances beyond her immediate influence, she didn’t always know where to start. For example, in college, she remembers recognizing her sensitivity to computer screens. As one can imagine, in the college environment, much of her work was expected to be completed on a computer. Without knowing how to advocate for an accommodation, she fell behind in some classes.

Recognizing this about herself, Boveja began getting involved in epilepsy awareness efforts. It was then that she saw the impact she could make by speaking up and speaking truthfully about her life with epilepsy. While it wasn’t always a comfortable task, she knew her purpose was very clear: By sharing her story, she was helping others—especially kids—who were living with epilepsy, too.

“Children really care about connecting with others, but they’re still absorbed in their own world. When someone can share a similar struggle, they’re able to recognize ‘I’m not the only one dealing with this,’” says Boveja. “And feeling seen and heard helps build the confidence that we need to advocate for ourselves.”

How To Advocate for Yourself

Through her experiences, Boveja has found a few things that are helpful in the advocacy process. “First of all, before even going into a conversation, I recognize that it’s not always going to feel comfortable. I can’t even guarantee that it will feel better afterwards,” she says. Boveja buffers that stress with deep breathing, present-moment awareness, and staying in tune with her body’s responses. She also engages in positive self-talk.

During tough conversations, Boveja’s goal is to be true to herself and speak honestly. “If I’m authentic about where I’m coming from, I can be happy with myself, no matter how the conversation goes,” she says.

And afterward, she lets herself feel the emotions of the experience. “It can be overwhelming to make yourself vulnerable, especially if it’s not received with compassion, or your experiences are dismissed. If I need to cry, I cry,” she says.

Working Toward a Brighter Future

Ideally, Boveja believes we can all take the time to slow down and be compassionately interested in each other’s stories—including struggles (both visible and invisible) and strengths. We should seek to understand instead of shame the parts of each other that don’t fit into what society considers “normal.”

Working toward a brighter future for all, Boveja continues her efforts around advocacy and epilepsy awareness. For the fall of 2022, she created a Care Bear and tennis themed photo campaign to help draw attention to epilepsy awareness during the US Open. “It’s a mashup of two things that have been so helpful in my journey with epilepsy—the comfort of a Care Bear for a girl who was born in the mid-‘80s, and tennis, one of my favorite ways to stay active,” says Boveja.

Boveja’s message to those who are advocating for themselves is this: “Remember you are beautiful and deserving of all the love in the world.”

And to those who have taken the time to listen: “Thank you for seeing us for all that we are.”